Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice From Dear Sugar

Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed is a powerful and deeply human collection of advice pieces originally published under the anonymous persona “Sugar” in The Rumpus advice column. What makes this book exceptional is not that it offers simple solutions or neat conclusions, but that it dares to confront the raw realities of being alive: heartbreak, grief, longing, confusion, identity, resilience, and the desperate hope that tomorrow will be more bearable than today. Through the mosaic of letters she receives—some heartbreaking, some humorous, some painful, some angry—Strayed responds not with platitudes, but with fierce honesty and radical empathy. Each response becomes a mirror, reflecting back to the reader their own vulnerabilities and highest hopes.

Rather than prescribing formulas, she shares stories from her own life: losing her mother young, wrestling with addiction, rescuing herself through writing, rebuilding after heartbreak, and learning again and again that love is both fierce and fragile. Her words remind us that wisdom emerges not from perfection, but from stumbling, breaking, healing, and continuing on. The book is a reminder that suffering is universal, but so is the capacity for transformation.

In this collection, Strayed teaches that our deepest wounds do not disqualify us from joy; rather, they make us capable of deeper empathy and connection. Life may fracture us, but beauty survives in small acts of courage, in choosing honesty, and in loving even when love feels impossible.

Love as a Complicated, Courageous Commitment

Strayed emphasizes that real love is not smooth or effortless. It is tangled, unpredictable, and rarely resembles the cinematic fantasy we are taught to expect. Many of the letters to Sugar involve betrayal, disappointment, or the ache of misunderstanding. Strayed tells her readers that love thrives not because people magically fit together, but because they choose to stay engaged even when it hurts. Love requires daily choices: communicating even when silence is easier, forgiving when bitterness feels more justified, showing tenderness when anger demands expression.

She rejects the notion that love should be easy if it is true. Instead, she shows that conflict is inherent in intimacy, and that growth occurs only when partners dare to tell the truth. She encourages readers to admit when they are wrong, listen without defensiveness, and honor the humanity of the person in front of them. Love asks us to show up—not even knowing what the outcome will be.

One example from the book involves a partner struggling to rebuild trust after infidelity. Many advice columns would reduce the decision to stay or leave to a binary answer. Strayed refuses. Instead, she asks the reader to examine what they value, what they fear, what forgiveness means, and whether love still lives beneath the wound. Her response teaches that reconciliation is not passive—it is the hardest work two people will ever do. It is both possible and costly.

Forgiveness and Self-Acceptance as Lifelong Work

Strayed describes forgiveness as an exhausting climb rather than a singular revelation. The letters she receives frequently come from people haunted by past decisions or trapped in cycles of ...