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The Let Them Theory Book Summary
Book Summary
Brief Summary
“The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins is an original method that teaches you what happens when you stop trying to control others and start focusing on yourself.The phrase “Let Them” allows you to let go of the pressure of managing other people’s emotions and expectations. This release allows you to live your life without seeking the approval of others. It is not your business how they react or feel about your life. Trying to fix or control what other people think or do leaves you feeling drained and stuck.
To regain control of your life, you have to implement the second step of the method, which is “Let Me.” Let Me shifts your focus inward. By saying, “Let me walk away,” or “Let me set a boundary,” you are channeling something very powerful. You are reclaiming your personal power while also choosing peace.
This two-step method can help to transform your mindset when it comes to your relationship with others as well as yourself. When you stop trying to change things you can’t control, you gain clarity, confidence, and contentment.
About the Author
Mel Robbins is a best-selling author and motivational speaker. Robbins is a former CNN legal analyst who is known for inspiring personal growth. Other books of hers include “The 5 Second Rule” and “The High 5 Habit.” Robbins also hosts a podcast called The Mel Robbins Podcast, where she offers research-backed advice in an easy-to-implement way.Topics
The Let Them Theory Book Summary Preview
Key Insights
In “The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins, you will learn how you’ve been trying your best to control things that aren’t yours to manage. This could be trying to keep the peace with someone by walking on eggshells around them, or trying to come up with the perfect words to make someone like you. Sounds draining, right?
Usually, after all the fuss, you’re left feeling let down, and that’s because you cannot control how others react to your words and behavior.
Mel Robbins offers a refreshing approach that will strengthen and uplift your relationships, called the Let Them Theory. With her insight, you will be able to bring your energy back to you and stop worrying how you’re coming off to other people, because truly, it’s not your concern!
Let Them Choose Their Path
Has there ever been a time when you found out that you weren’t invited to a dinner out with a group of friends? You probably started trying to recount your last text message in the group text, or the last phone call, or social interaction with the person who made the dinner plans. Chances are, you started spiraling, wondering what you did to warrant not being invited.
Your first instinct is to blame yourself by convincing yourself that you did something to that person to make them angry and therefore not invite you to attend the dinner outing. The truth is, that instinct isn’t just present in social situations and friendships. In fact, that urge to explain yourself and fix whatever you did to smooth things over is a response that you have to anything remotely uncomfortable. The foundation of the response is your need for control.
Your need for control makes other people’s personal choices, reactions, and opinions feel like emergencies that you need to attend to. But, really, it’s not your responsibility.
Robbins’ The Let Theory helps you to extinguish that cycle from your life. When you bow down and say “Let them,” you’re able to save your energy for yourself rather than wasting your energy on the things you can’t control. For example, say “Let them go on a trip without me,” or “Let them ignore my text message.” This practice doesn’t repress your emotions, but rather takes back your energy.
This theory has been seen in other parts of our culture. In Stoicism, we are taught that power lies in what you do, rather than what others do. In Buddhism, we are warned against resisting reality. The detachment theory also shows how detaching yourself from a situation can reduce your stress level and provide clarity. Robbins’ The Let Them Theory allows you to bring the ideals of these beliefs together and practice them in real time, without extensive philosophical or religious studies.
You have to remember that just because you’re detaching, it doesn’t mean you have to disappear. You don’t want to completely withdraw yourself every time you say “Let them.” Instead, you want to follow it up with “Let me.”
The “Let me” part of The Let Them Theory...
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