The High 5 Habit

The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins presents a deceptively simple but transformative practice designed to repair the relationship we have with ourselves, rewrite limiting internal narratives, and build a foundation of confidence and emotional resilience. The premise appears almost too simple: begin each morning by looking at yourself in the mirror and giving your own reflection a high five. According to Robbins, this single gesture—repeated daily—serves as an anchor, a psychological interruption, and a symbolic declaration that you are on your own side. The book combines neuroscience, behavioral psychology, habit formation theory, and personal stories to demonstrate how such a tiny action can reshape patterns of thought and behavior that may have been embedded for decades.

Robbins argues that many individuals wake up and immediately begin mentally attacking themselves. Instead of encouragement or excitement for the day ahead, they focus on what is wrong, what they fear, and what they believe they lack. Most people would never speak to a friend the way they routinely speak to themselves. The High 5 Habit offers a new way to begin the day—by celebrating oneself rather than criticizing. Robbins insists that self-support is not self-indulgence or ego; it is a prerequisite for growth and fulfillment. If encouragement from others feels powerful, she argues, then encouragement from oneself is even more impactful because it originates internally rather than relying on external approval.

Why the Habit Works: The Science of Positive Association

The physical act of high fiving carries built-in emotional meaning. Unlike words, which can feel forced or inauthentic, the gesture itself communicates enthusiasm, celebration, recognition, and mutual support. It is a universal symbol of encouragement—it requires no translation.

Robbins explains that when you high five someone else, you are acknowledging their effort and potential. High fives communicate statements such as: “You’ve got this,” “I believe in you,” and “Keep going.” When you direct that gesture at yourself, your brain cannot interpret it any differently—it automatically processes encouragement even if the conscious mind protests or feels embarrassed. This allows the gesture to bypass the internal critic that often blocks verbal affirmations.

For example, if you stand in front of a mirror and say, “I believe in myself,” an inner voice may immediately respond with: “No you don’t. You always fail. Who do you think you’re kidding?” But a high five contains no space for argument. The gesture itself communicates emotional truth faster than doubt can interfere.

Robbins supports this concept with research involving school-aged children. In one study, high fives were shown to be more effective at inspiring perseverance than verbal praise related to intelligence or effort. Children who received a high five continued working longer and maintained higher motivation because they internalized encouragement of themselves rather than conditional performance-based validation. Robbins suggests adults need the same reinforcement.

Understanding the Reticular Activating System and Thought Filtering

A major theme in the book is the Reticular Activating System (RAS), the brain structure responsible for filtering millions of sensory inputs so that only the most relevant information reaches conscious awareness. Robbins explains that ...