Never Split the Difference Book Summary

Book Summary

15 min

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Brief Summary

"Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, provides strategies and techniques for high-stakes negotiations. Voss emphasizes the importance of empathy and understanding the counterpart's perspective to gain an advantage. He introduces concepts like "tactical empathy," active listening, and the use of calibrated questions to guide conversations and uncover hidden information.

The book challenges conventional negotiation wisdom, suggesting that compromise isn’t always the best outcome. Instead, Voss advocates for understanding and influencing emotions to reach a mutually beneficial agreement, making it a powerful guide for negotiations in both personal and professional settings.

About the Author

Chris Voss is an American businessman, author, and professor. He is a former FBI hostage negotiator, CEO of The Black Swan Group Ltd, and co-author of the book, Never Split the Difference. He is the adjunct Professor as Georgetown University's McDonough School of Business and a lecturer at the Marshall School of Business at University of Southern California. He graduated from the Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government with a Masters of Public Administration.

Tahl Raz is an award-winning journalist and best-selling author. He has edited and published for Inc. Magazine, GQ, Harvard Business Review, and Jerusalem Post. He is the author of “Never Eat alone”, a popular book used in MBA programs around the world. He worked as Chief Content Officer and CEO of online education company, MyGreenLight and as founder and editor in chief of Jewcy Media. He is married and lives in New York City with his wife, daughter, and a pug named Bibi.

Topics

Communication Skills Self Development

Never Split the Difference Book Summary Preview

If only, you never had to negotiate.

If only, you never had to make any sacrifices in your career and personal life.

But, what does it actually take to become a pro at the art of negotiating?

In his book, “Never Split the Difference Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It”, Chris Voss shares his secrets to success and how to come out on top every time.

And, the reason Voss knows all these secrets is because he was actually once the FBI’s top international kidnapping negotiator.

“He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of negotiation.” -Chris Voss

Through his words, Voss shares with us the art of convincing people as well as the power of our words, tone, and actions. In this world, we need to ask for what we want and go and get it. But oftentimes, we don’t know how to do that. But, just wait, cause Voss will show you how!

Humans Are Always Negotiating

You may not realize it, but humans are always negotiating. You negotiate with your lover, your children, your family, your friends, your co-workers- basically everyone you come in contact with.

Negotiating isn’t always black and white, sometimes it’s simply convincing someone to try a new cafe with you instead of going to the same old place.

What Makes Negotiating Successful?

If you want to be a master of negotiation, it’s important to have knowledge and smarts. But, that’s not all!

It’s also about forming an initial trust with the person you are negotiating with. Once that bond is established, it is much easier to gain information from the other party.

Pro Tip: Get the other person to do the talking. This will allow them to feel vulnerable, open, and willing to share.

“Mirrors work magic. Repeat the last three words (or the critical one to three words) of what someone has just said. We fear what’s different and are drawn to what’s similar. Mirroring is the art of insinuating similarity, which facilitates bonding. Use mirrors to encourage the other side to empathize and bond with you, keep people talking, buy your side time to regroup, and encourage your counterparts to reveal their strategy.” -Chris Voss

If you are unsure how to build trust with someone, start by actively listening. This involves repeating what the other person is saying to show your understanding. If the other party thinks you understand them, they will automatically feel closer to you.

Make Your Voice Work For You?

It may sound crazy, but the tone of your voice can make all the difference when it comes to convincing a person.

If the person you are negotiating with is upset, then a deep and soft voice will help to reassure them that they are in good company, stabilizing the trust you have already built.

There is also power in utilizing a perky and playful voice. This positive tone works best for less intense situations such as purchases at a flea market or trying to convince your child to eat their vegetables.