Fair Play Book Summary

Book Summary

15 min

Audio available

Brief Summary

When kids come into the picture, marriages can quickly change.Many mothers end up doing more than their fair share. Not only are mothers often stuck with half the chores and their entire careers, but they are left to tend to their child’s every need. In Eve Rodsky’s book, "Fair Play", she explains how this is all too common in marriages. And, she uses her own experience as an example for her readers. The average American woman does more than her fair share of household responsibilities and it can be damaging to her marriage, her career, and her well-being. But, by dealing out duties equally, you can have a "fair play" marriage.

About the Author

Eve Rodsky received her Bachelors in economics and anthropology from the University of Michigan and her J.D. from Harvard Law School. She worked in foundation management at J.P Morgan and founded the Philanthropy Advisory Group to help high-net worth families and charitable foundations on best practices for harmonious operations, governance and disposition of funds. She helps families seek balance and peace in their homes. She was born and raised in New York City by a single mother and lives in Los Angeles with her husband and three children.

Topics

Self Development

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Key Insights

When kids come into the picture, marriages can quickly change.

Many mothers end up doing more than their fair share. Not only are mothers often stuck with half the chores and their entire careers, but they are left to tend to their child’s every need.

In Eve Rodsky’s book, “Fair Play”, she explains how this is all too common in marriages. And, she uses her own experience as an example for her readers.

Rodsky describes the “second shift” that mothers usually pick up when they have kids which includes making lunches, helping with homework, doing extra laundry, etc. While husbands tend to stick to their day jobs, working only one shift.

Mothers also tend to be the emotional caretakers in the relationship, so her duties extend to soothing their children, sending birthday cards, and keeping up with the in-laws.

And, her mental to-do list consists of constant worries about whether or not she washed her son’s football jersey and if there is enough food for dinner.

“I believe in my core that this is the fundamental issue for women, for them to step into their full power in the world, and we have to invite men to step into their full power at home.”- Eve Rodsky

All of these things a woman does is often called “invisible work”. Rodsky explains why this invisible work is underappreciated and why household duties should be 50/50.

The Second Shift Is Causing Unhappiness

Eve shares her experience living the second shift life as a mother. She would come home only to more work and it left her feeling overwhelmed. The stress of all the new demands was affecting her well-being. It took a toll on every single aspect of her life.

First, it affected her marriage. Mothers who do more housework than their partners oftentimes develop resentment toward their husbands. And because they are hustling solo, they feel isolated and alone. Studies confirm that women who do more housework than their husbands are less satisfied in their marriages.

The second shift also affects a woman’s mental health. It creates mental exhaustion. The Today Show website featured a survey that investigated the stress-level of moms in America. Out of 7,000 moms surveyed, the majority ranked their current stress-levels at 8.5 on a ten-point scale.

And, in correlation to the survey, it has been documented that women are diagnosed with anxiety disorders more often than men; more than twice as frequently! This only makes sense as nearly 80% of American women report that taking care of their families is too time-consuming, so they cannot take care of themselves too.

This second shift also has a negative effect on a mother’s career. The pay gap between mothers with children and without is actually bigger than that of the pay gap between men and women. But, why is that?

It is because the woman with children does not fit the company’s ideal employee, which would be someone who is free to focus on their job. Because women are at high-demand at home, they are often thought to be too scatter-brained for...