All the Single Ladies Book Summary

Book Summary

15 min

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Brief Summary

Being single can be hard, but it can also mean freedom, empowerment, and the opportunity to live life on your own terms. Now is the best time yet to be an unmarried woman. There is no pressure to get married unless it is the right person and the right time. Women are able to develop careers, enjoy friendships, have sex, and be independent. Marriage isn’t a requirement or something you avoid, women have the right to choose what is best for them.

About the Author

Rebecca Traister is a journalist and writer focused on women’s issues. Working for New York magazine and Elle magazine, Traister often comments on feminism. Her essays on the media industry that appeared in Salon and The New York Times won her a journalism award. All the Single Ladies is her second book. Her first book, which covered the impact of Hillary Clinton’s first presidential campaign, was named a Notable Book of 2010.

Topics

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Key Insights

The institution of marriage has changed over time. For women, marriage is becoming more of a choice than before. And women are choosing to either wait to get married or not get married at all.

Still, being a single woman is not easy. People look at unmarried women with suspicion and some unmarried women struggle financially. But things are getting better.

Legal and social changes have made it easier to be an unmarried woman. There is more progress needed, especially for certain racial and socioeconomic groups. But, overall, now is the best time yet to be a single woman.

Marriage is changing.

More than ever before, women are choosing not to get married or delaying marriage until they are older. Despite claims that millennials are killing the institution of marriage, young people are not avoiding marriage entirely. Instead, they are delaying until they have some professional and financial security.

Traditional roles within marriages are also changing. Same-sex marriages show that gender does not need to determine who is responsible for what in a household. A 2014 survey from the University of Texas found that more people valued sharing the burdens of childcare and the home equally. Also, Pew surveys from 1997 and 2013 showed that fewer people find it challenging to have wives that work.

Women had to get married because single women didn’t have rights.

If you were a woman in the 17th century, you could not legally own any property. The only exception was a widow. So, if you wanted to own anything, you had to get married and wait for your husband to die.

It was possible for a woman to remain unmarried. But they had to rely on family to take care of them. An unmarried woman could not be wholly independent.

Property laws weren’t the only things against single women. Society viewed unmarried women poorly. They were even nicknamed thornbacks, which are fish with little flesh and a barbed tail.

Realistically, women needed to get married for better treatment by society and the legal system.

Societal changes made being an unmarried woman (relatively) easier.

During the Revolutionary War, women had control over businesses and property while the men were off fighting. At the same time, American women started learning about, discussing, and debating feminist ideas inspired by the French.

Before industrialization, women were expected to get married and have lots of children. All those hands were needed to work on farms, prepare food, make household goods, and to complete chores.

Economic and social changes in the United States gave women more opportunities. By the middle of the nineteenth century, women were needed for jobs like nursing and teaching.

By this time, there were more women who remained single their entire lives. For example, author Louisa May Alcott never married and supported herself with different jobs before publishing Little Women. Another lifelong single woman was Susan B. Anthony, who fought for women’s rights and spoke out about issues with marriage.

World War II created another opportunity for more women to enter the workforce. With the men away, women stepped into new...