How To Do Things You Hate

How To Do Things You Hate by Peter Hollins is a deep exploration of why people consistently avoid the very actions that would most improve their lives—and how to reverse that pattern permanently. The book argues that success, growth, and self-respect are not built through motivation, inspiration, or waiting for the right mood. They are built by repeatedly choosing to move toward discomfort instead of away from it.

Hollins challenges the common belief that productivity problems are caused by laziness, lack of talent, or insufficient time. Instead, he claims the real enemy is the human tendency to escape unpleasant internal experiences: anxiety, boredom, fear, confusion, fatigue, and self-doubt. These feelings aren’t dangerous, but we treat them as if they are—and that avoidance quietly controls our behavior.

At its core, the book reframes self-discipline as a psychological skill rather than a moral trait. Discipline is not about becoming tougher or forcing yourself to suffer. It is about learning to tolerate discomfort without letting it dictate your choices. When discomfort stops being something you run from, you unlock consistent action, personal integrity, and long-term progress.

The Central Problem: Avoidance Creates More Pain, Not Less

Hollins begins by dismantling the assumption that avoiding unpleasant tasks reduces suffering. In reality, avoidance compounds distress. When you put off a task because it feels uncomfortable, the discomfort doesn’t disappear—it mutates. It grows into guilt, anxiety, shame, and self-criticism. The task becomes heavier, scarier, and emotionally charged over time.

This creates a destructive loop. You feel discomfort at the thought of doing something difficult. You avoid it to feel better temporarily. That avoidance creates new negative emotions. Those emotions make starting even harder later. The cycle repeats, and your confidence erodes.

The tragedy is that avoidance offers immediate relief but long-term harm. Action, by contrast, often feels worse at first but produces relief, clarity, and momentum quickly. Hollins emphasizes that most people are trapped not because tasks are too hard, but because they misinterpret discomfort as a signal to stop instead of a signal to begin.

Experiential Avoidance: Escaping Feelings Instead of Tasks

A key concept underlying Hollins’s argument is the idea that people are not avoiding tasks—they are avoiding internal experiences. When faced with a difficult obligation, the mind anticipates emotions like frustration, fear of failure, or mental effort. The task itself becomes associated with emotional pain, and the brain seeks escape.

This escape can take many forms: checking messages, reorganizing your workspace, doing “productive” but irrelevant tasks, or mentally rationalizing delay. You tell yourself you’ll feel more prepared later, that timing isn’t right, or that rest is necessary first. These explanations feel logical, but they serve a single function: protecting you from discomfort in the present moment.

Hollins stresses that this behavior is often automatic rather than intentional. People don’t consciously decide to sabotage themselves. They fall into familiar patterns that momentarily soothe discomfort. Over time, these habits harden, and avoidance becomes the default response to challenge.

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