Self Help Books for Women

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Quick summary

The best self help books for women deal with the pressures many women face, like overgiving, perfectionism, unequal household work, and the feeling of never being enough. Start with Girl, Stop Apologizing for confidence, Fair Play for sharing the load at home, Becoming for a model of a life built slowly, and How to Keep House While Drowning for days when you're overwhelmed. Below are twelve picks with notes on who each one suits.

What women often want from the self help books for women

Good advice can be universal. A habit book helps anyone who wants better habits. But many women say they want something more specific. They want a book that knows what it feels like to be the one who remembers every birthday, plans every meal, and apologizes for taking up space.

That doesn't mean women need pink covers and gentle slogans. Plenty of women prefer blunt advice and hard data. What they tend to want is a book that takes their real life seriously, including the money, the career, the kids, the body, and the mental load.

The books below cover that range. Some are about confidence, some about relationships, some about work, and some are just honest company on a hard day.

Self Help Books for Women

1. Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis

Hollis argues that many women hold back their goals because they're worried about what others will think. She pushes you to stop apologizing for wanting more, and she offers steps for setting goals and acting on them. The tone is high energy and direct.

Some readers love it, and others find it too cheerful about problems that have structural causes. Take what helps you. Read the Girl, Stop Apologizing summary.

2. Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis

This one takes on the lies we tell ourselves, like "I'm not good enough" or "I'll be happy when I lose weight." Hollis uses stories from her own life. It's personal, funny, and sometimes tough.

Here's the Girl, Wash Your Face summary.

3. Becoming by Michelle Obama

Obama's memoir isn't a how to book, but it teaches through example. She writes about self doubt, about choosing a career and a family, and about being in the public eye. The message is that becoming is a slow process and you don't have to have it figured out.

Read the Becoming summary and see what she reads in Michelle Obama's book recommendations.

4. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

Gilbert writes about creativity and fear, and she invites you to make things without waiting for permission. It's a good pick for any woman who's been saving a dream for later.

See the Big Magic summary.

Books on work and ambition

5. Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso

Amoruso tells the story of how she built the fashion brand Nasty Gal from an online shop. It's part memoir, part business advice. Keep in mind that the company later went bankrupt, so read it as one person's story and not a perfect blueprint.

The Girlboss summary gives the main points. You can read about the author on the Sophia Amoruso page.

6. Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg

Sandberg argues that women face both outside barriers and internal ones at work, and she urges women to sit at the table and push for leadership roles. The book sparked a large debate. Some readers felt it placed too much weight on individual effort. It's still worth reading to form your own view.

Start with the Sheryl Sandberg author page.

7. Bossypants by Tina Fey

Fey's memoir covers her rise in comedy and what it was like to be one of a few women in the room. It's funny and wise, and it has practical thoughts on handling difficult colleagues.

Check the Bossypants summary. For more on negotiating, read our posts on women and negotiations and how to ask for a raise. And see 5 business books celebrating women.

Books on home, money, and the mental load

8. Fair Play by Eve Rodsky

Rodsky tackles the unpaid work of running a household. Her system uses a deck of cards that assign tasks, and it asks couples to agree on who owns each one from start to finish. The idea that matters most is that planning a task counts as work, too.

It's practical and a little provocative. Couples who've tried it say it gets fights out in the open. Read the Fair Play summary.

9. How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis

Davis, a licensed counselor, writes for people who struggle with housework because of depression, ADHD, or just too much on their plate. She treats chores as neutral tasks, not tests of your worth. The tips are small and kind.

If you're tired and behind, this book will take the shame down a notch. See the How to Keep House While Drowning summary.

Books on love, body, and relationships

10. Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski

Nagoski explains female sexuality using research, and she corrects a number of myths along the way. The book is clear and reassuring, and many readers say it helped them feel normal. It's good for anyone who wants accurate information.

Check the Come as You Are summary.

11. Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton

Alderton's memoir covers friendship, dating, and growing up in your twenties. It's honest and funny, and it makes a strong case for friendship as a central love of your life.

Here's the Everything I Know About Love summary.

12. Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown

Brown maps dozens of human emotions, from anxiety to awe, and explains how naming a feeling helps you deal with it. It's a helpful guide if you've ever had an emotion you couldn't describe.

Take a look at the Atlas of the Heart summary.

How to choose

Not every book will fit. Choose based on what you need this month.

If you doubt yourself, try Girl, Stop Apologizing or Becoming. If you're fed up with household work, read Fair Play. If you're drained, read How to Keep House While Drowning. If you want to start something creative, read Big Magic. If you're navigating a career, read Bossypants or Lean In.

For a wider view, see our lists of the 20 best self help books that aren't actually cringe and the best books for personal growth sorted by the problem you're actually stuck on. You can also browse the self development category.

Reading when your time isn't your own

If you're a busy mom, a caregiver, or someone with a demanding job, you may not have hours to read. Try a few things. Listen to audio during chores. Read summaries to choose what's worth your full attention. Set a goal of ten minutes a day.

Our post on how busy moms read 30 books a year without stealing time from their families shows how it works in real life. If you're stretched thin, working mom burnout and six ways to cope and balancing life and work as a working mother offer practical help. For time to yourself, read how to prioritize yourself and 60 must read self worth quotes.

A note on advice that doesn't fit

Some self help for women puts the burden on you to fix problems that aren't yours alone. If a book makes you feel like you're failing, put it down. A good book should leave you clearer and more capable, not guilty.

And if you're dealing with depression, anxiety, or something heavier, talk with a professional. Books can support you. They can't replace care.

Final thought

The best self help book for you is the one that speaks to where you are now. Pick one from this list, read the summary tonight, and try one idea this week.

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