7 Red Flags in Friendships You Shouldn’t Ignore

Posted on 8/28/2025, 11:54:09 AM

Friendships can be some of the most rewarding relationships in life. A good friend celebrates your wins, supports you during struggles, and accepts you for who you are. But not every friendship is healthy. Sometimes we get stuck in toxic dynamics that drain our energy instead of building us up.

Recognizing the warning signs isn’t always easy. Often, people excuse unhealthy behavior because they don’t want to lose a friend. But identifying red flags in friendships allows you to set boundaries, protect your peace, and cultivate healthier connections.

Let’s look at the 7 biggest red flags in friendships and how to handle them.

1. They Only Reach Out When They Need Something

A true friend is present during both good and bad times. But if you notice that someone only texts when they need money, emotional support, or a ride, it’s a red flag. One-sided relationships leave you feeling used instead of valued.

Example: You’ve been helping your friend move, listening to their relationship problems, and covering their lunch—but when you ask for help with your own project, they suddenly become “too busy.”

👉 Healthy friendships involve reciprocity. Both people give and take.

2. They Constantly Put You Down

Teasing among friends can be playful, but constant criticism or backhanded compliments are toxic. If you walk away from every hangout feeling worse about yourself, it’s a sign something is wrong.

Example: You share that you got promoted, and instead of congratulating you, they respond with, “Wow, must be nice knowing people in high places.”

👉 Supportive friends celebrate your wins. Toxic ones belittle them.

3. They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries

Boundaries are how we teach people to treat us. If your friend gets angry when you say “no,” pressures you into situations you’re uncomfortable with, or dismisses your limits, that’s a serious issue.

Example: You tell them you don’t want to go out drinking, but they keep nagging until you give in. That’s not respect—it’s manipulation.

👉 A healthy friend respects your choices, even when they don’t align with theirs.

4. They’re Jealous of Your Success

Friendship should never feel like a competition. But if someone gets jealous or resentful whenever something good happens in your life, they may not be rooting for you.

Example: You share that you’re moving into a new apartment, and they respond with, “Must be nice. I’ll probably never afford that.”

👉 Good friends see your success as a win for both of you, not as a threat.

5. They Gossip About You

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If your friend shares your secrets or talks negatively about you behind your back, it shows they can’t be trusted.

Example: You confide in them about a personal struggle, only to hear it repeated by others later.

👉 A loyal friend protects your privacy, not broadcasts it.

6. They Drain Your Energy

Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with someone. Do you leave energized or completely exhausted? Constant negativity, drama, or emotional dumping can turn a friendship into a burden.

Example: Every conversation revolves around their problems, and they rarely ask how you’re doing.

👉 Friendships should feel balanced and leave you feeling lighter, not drained.

7. They Don’t Show Up When It Matters

The true test of friendship is whether someone shows up when life gets hard. If they vanish during your struggles but expect you to be there during theirs, it’s a major red flag.

Example: You supported them through a breakup, but when you lost a loved one, they were nowhere to be found.

👉 A genuine friend doesn’t disappear when things get tough.

How to Handle Toxic Friendships

Recognizing these red flags is only half the battle. The harder step is deciding what to do about them. Here are some strategies:

• Communicate openly: Share how their actions make you feel. Sometimes people don’t realize their behavior is hurtful.

• Set boundaries: Limit how much time and energy you give.

• Step back if needed: Some friendships run their course, and that’s okay.

• Invest in healthier connections: Make space for people who uplift you.

Growing Through Learning

Friendships reflect our own growth and self-awareness. The more we understand about human behavior, boundaries, and communication, the better we can navigate relationships.

If you want to dive deeper into personal growth, psychology, or emotional intelligence but don’t always have time to read full books, book summary websites are a powerful tool.

One of the best options is Sumizeit, which offers concise, 5–10 minute summaries of bestselling books. Whether you’re learning how to set boundaries, recognize toxic patterns, or build stronger connections, Sumizeit gives you the tools to grow—without requiring hours of reading.

Final Thoughts

Friendships are supposed to bring joy, trust, and support. If you notice these 7 red flags in friendships, take them seriously. Protect your energy, set clear boundaries, and remember: the right people will respect and appreciate you.

And if you want to continue building self-awareness and strengthening your relationships, check out Sumizeit—one of the top book summary websites that helps you learn, grow, and thrive in every area of life.